This is a pretty embarrassing dip into the old, ancient Dork archives, but Sandy wasn’t above exploiting her gender back when this happened.

Most of you know, but I’m a huge Kris Straub fan. He’s the cartoonist responsible for Starslip Crisis, and Chainsawsuit. And he’s just unveiled another soon-to-be masterpiece: F-Chords. Check it out, and tell him Mike sent ya…

…and when he asks who ‘Mike’ is, politely look at the ground and try to change the subject to Star Trek or some such…

I’ve been doing some cleaning in my room (at the behest of my roommates… which is weird, one of the reasons I stopped living with my parents all those years ago is so I didn’t have to be told to clean my room…) and I’ve been making some interesting discoveries. I think I might be a packrat.  But the things I keep around are… kindof odd.

First, I seem to keep a lot of trash in my room, but that has more to do with me being lazy than being a packrat. But I do have a gigantic stack of gift cards. I get them all the time for birthdays, Christmas, etc. and I always save them, thinking, “oh, something special will come up and I can use that giftcard for something awesome!” But I’ve been saving them for so long that I could conceivably live off them for probably 3 or 4 years. I keep finding them in random places around the room, which I guess is kindof cool… I mean, free money, but will I ever break down and USE them? I should just plan one day of glory and use them all at once… that’d be sweet.

I also have a lot of stickers. Like, promotional stickers for bands I get at concerts, and stickers of superheroes, and the like. I keep thinking, “one day I’ll have something cool to stick that on,” but I never seem to commit to the sticking. I have this one batman sticker in particular that I bought at comic con like 3 or 4 years ago, and I  still haven’t stuck it on anything… nothing seems to be worthy enough. I finally broke down and covered my file cabinet with all the “Muse” stickers I had, which is kinda cool, but in the back of my mind, I’m like, “man, what else could I have stuck those on? Now I’ll never know…”

Does this mean I’m psychotic?

I consider myself something of a film buff. I’m not the guy who goes to all the indie film festivals or anything, but I do really enjoy films, I try to see as many movies as possible, and I really like getting into discussions about film, and critiquing them, etc. I like to follow certain directors and writers, and I talk about them the way most people talk about the actors.

And I got to thinking, what if people got really passionate like that about the kind of instructional videos they show at drivers ed, and at work training? What if there was a whole subculture built around following the instructional video scene? What would the people who were instructional-video buffs look like? (I don’t think I want to know.)

Once that idea was in my head, names of parody film titles flooded my brain. I like the one from today, “So you got your driver’s license 4,”  but there were some runners up, including, “Lying on Timesheets can Kill You,” “STD’s: The Reckoning,” and “I Know What Your Driver’s License Did Last Summer.”

Anyone want to contribute to the list? Its potentially never-ending!