Archive for October 10th, 2008

Fire Ants

Friday, October 10th, 2008

I’ve spent most of my life in Texas, and that comes with certain assumptions about the world. For example, I didn’t know that there were places in the US that DON’T have gigantic fire ants that can kill you and give your soul to the fires of satan’s lair. I mean, these ants are huge, they are actually colored red — the color of FIRE! These things will sting your face off, then burn your house down and traumatize your family, and even make crappy sequels to your favorite childhood movies, laughing while they do it. In Texas, those ants are a part of life, you just get used to them being around, but now I realize that for a lot of people, I can say the word “ant,” and they think of an almost friendly creature that lives to preserve and palace nature with sophisticated flock intelligence. If you’re from the Big Tex, the word “ant” comes loaded with fear and loathing.

So yeah, ants in the shampoo could be death.

Fire death.

Forever.