Some of you just recoiled when you saw me give a whopping three stars to this movie, but hear me out. You just have to have your expectations right when you go see Ninja Assassin.

This movie falls under my “Remember The Title” rule. Which means: read the freakin’ title. Does “Ninja Assassin” sound like a serious character piece? No. It sounds like it’s about ninjas. Assassinating things. Which is exactly what it is, no more, no less.

This is a total B-movie. The characters are not really characters at all, they fill stereotypical roles. The dialogue is awful, and it’s only there to give a rough estimate of an explanation as to why the ninjas are doing so much assassinating. You’ll know all the plot points to this thing before it even starts, but none of that matters. What matters is: Ninjas killing other ninjas in slow (and sometimes fast) motion. What matters is: gobs and gobs of computer animated extra blood literally shooting out of every pore. What matters is: extra computer blur and line streak effects on weapons as they cut off limbs and send copious amounts of blood flying across the screen.

Remember the title. This is a brainless, emotionless gore fest featuring ninjas that have magical powers (they can teleport, turn invisible, heal faster than Wolverine, etc.) killing a lot of people. Then the ninjas are killing other super-powered ninjas. Also, the ninjas are killing army guys with machine guns. Then the main ninja is fighting a super boss ninja, and then an even harder boss ninja. And thats pretty much the whole movie. The title should have told you all this, so if you expected something different, that’s your own fault, bub. In fact, the only thing this movie is missing is life bars and a combo counter.

Within it’s framework, it’s incredibly entertaining. The action is awesome, the fights are ridiculous in epicness (also called epicosity) and hilarious. None of this is meant to be taken seriously (I hope) it’s just a fun over-the-top action piece.

That said, if you’re a ninja fan, or an action movie nut, see this movie. Just keep in mind the “Remember the Title” rule.