Today’s strip is another one that’s pulled kindof from life. I’ll never forget sitting in a Jack-in-Box one time, with this girl that I was, at the time, completely taken with. With my natural wit and smooth talk (read: awkward, stumbling transitions) I maneuvered the conversation to the topic of relationships.

Then, I listened to her describe, in detail, her ideal mate, which was as perfect a description of me as I’ve ever heard. I don’t know if it makes me selfish (I prefer to think “focused”) to relate everything she said back to myself, but seriously. She didn’t know what was sitting right in front of her–it was me… and I was awesome…

I’m not exactly sure what happened to her, but I think she ended up with some guy that was totally perfect for her in every way. I ended up sitting on the couch in sweatpants eating Cheetos and Mountain Dew…

I think it’s obvious who got the better deal.

I don’t know about you guys, but my first kiss was… a little strange.

First of all, we were both nerdy goody-goody kids, and so we had waited way to long to plant one on each other. Finally, it reached an intolerable point, and, although in my heart of hearts I wanted to have this big romantic night that culminated in a kiss to end all worlds, it ended up being a lust-filled lip wrestle sitting on a dirty curb on the side of a dirty street.

It apparently opened the floodgates, too, since we’d waited so long. This was no quick peck, that “first kiss” lasted about 48 minutes. Which, you’d think would be awesome, but instead, it was full of awkward grunting sounds, and mumbled, “no, no, too low, you go-rrr, here! no!”

Not quite as romantic as I’d imagined, but still heaven to my ultra-moral virgin lips.

Mark it. Mark the whole thing.

In any case, I love trading stories of awkwardness, they always make me feel better about myself. I’d love to hear your stories, if anyone’s up for sharing them–of your first kisses, or of just awkward dating moments in general. Send ‘em my way, and who knows, maybe I’ll give a free sketch to whoever has the most embarrassing story!

Comment here, or email me at the address below!

-Mike 

Well, I did something I never thought I’d do… something I was afraid I might someday fall into… Like the Incredible Hulk, who always must keep his anger in check, lest his anger get the best of him, who always fails to keep the monster under control… I too have lost control to my own inner monster.

Specifically, an Undead Warlock.

Thats right, I made a World of Warcraft account.

I realize I’m kindof behind the times on this one, but I never wanted to delve into it, thinking that I might not ever get back out of WOW’s clutches. But now I’m definitely in it, at least for the length of my trial account. I can only hope this doesn’t affect me so hard that I start missing comic updates. If that happens, you must destroy me. I will have turned over to the dark side, and death will be my only means of escape…

I guess I like it so far, but I need some tips. I don’t know how to play this game, and I feel pretty lost. I’ll keep you updated as I go on and see what happens. Till then, peace out!

-Mike

So, I’ve had World of Warcraft now for, what has it been… 5 days? I’m at level 17, and ready to start some instances.

I’m still not sold on the game, although I enjoy playing it – especially with people. But it is missing some of the things I really enjoy about my videogames, mainly, a storyline. You see, I am a Final Fantasy junkie. My favorite game of all time is Chrono Trigger, followed closely by Earthbound, Xenogears, etc. Those games have two things in common: a complicated, involved, and compelling storyline,  and strong character development. Those games are more like reading a good book, which is what I like my videogames to be.

I understand its unfair to say Warcraft doesn’t have character development – after all, all the players are real people. Or, at least, they were until WoW stole their souls, as is it about to do with mine…  But I miss a linear story. Call me a simple, old fashioned kind of gal (please don’t call me gal) but I like a very linear, scripted story experience  from my games.

But WoW is a different kind of game – it’s a good weekend, time-wastin’, gnome-killin’ time to relax, and not think about stuff for a while. That’s fun in a different kind of way, which is also important. It’s like watching a Godzilla movie on a rainy afternoon. And that kind of escapism is good and worth it.

Plus, it has other benefits. I can read “Ding” and get all the jokes (mostly).  And I’ve been learning a new language – the L33t speak of The Nerd Ones. The first time I logged in, there were so many acronyms flying around, I though I was accidentally on some kind of international server. And it puts me back in touch with my Nerd roots, which I’ve felt distanced from. As long as I don’t have to get in touch with my Arkansas roots as well… thats some scary stuff.

On a totally unrelated note – Friday is my birthday. May the gifts overflow!

-Mike

Well kids, today is my birthday! And on this glorious day of days, I am happy to share with you a great gift that I was given… although the person who gave it to me didn’t KNOW it was the anniversary of my birth (or, birthiversary) , which makes it that much better.

I am of course talking about cartoonist Justin Maudslien, creator of the webcomic “Sub-Human.” He created a special Dorm Dorks guest strip that I think is pretty dang funny:

(click for a slightly bigger, cleaner image) Be sure to check out “Sub-Human.” It’s about the tribulations of substitute teaching. If you’ve ever spent any time on the other end of the education system, you’ll love his strip.

Today’s strip has a little bit of a story behind it. Although I do think its funny, right after a “Jinx!” moment, to test and see if the jinx will work again with the most random word ever… there’s more to the joke than that.

I’ll never forget a time in the dorm where me and my roommate ran up to each other, super excited about something that had just happened. We both started talking as fast as we could at the exact same time. Both of us were so excited that we didn’t want to stop talking and listen, so we just kept going. After about 15 seconds of loud rambling, we both ended our completely unrelated stories at exactly the same time.  On exactly the same WORD.

That word was “Dragonball.”

I can never explain how that happened, but I promise you it did. It’s truth stranger than fiction. Except maybe for Grant Morrison’s fiction. That is some WEIRD stuff. And genius.

Enjoy your weekend, eveybody! And remember, if you like the comics, feel free to drop a birthday present for me in the “donate” tip jar.  Peace out!

-Mike 

I’m excited to announce, I’ll be appearing at Dallas Comic Con on April 5th & 6th (which, ironically, is in Richardson). Come out and see me, I’ll be selling books, and doing sketches.

Need another reason to show up? I can’t imagine you would, but just in case, how about appearances by tons of awesome artists and actor types. Even some of the Firefly cast will be there! Namely, the hot redhead who always gave Mal a run for his money – sometimes literally.

Check the website for the full list of guests, and all the info you’ll need. I’d love to see you guys out there!

It’s time to set the record straight. I hear a lot of talk… maybe too much talk…

Some of you are under a delusional state of thinking when it comes to Burritos. Some of you think that Chipotle is God’s gift to tex-mex, while Freebird’s is the red-headed stepchild.

YOU ARE WRONG!

Oh how you are so, so wrong! Freebirds has existed for many decades, and long ago became a legend of the Texas A&M dynasty. In times of old, the brave mexican-food fanatic would have to travel for miles, into the deep dark parts of Texas, to find the golden Super Monster burrito from the only existing Freebird’s, when the existence of Quesadillas was a closely held secret known only to the Burrito Illuminati… selah…

And then it was all ruined by some punk who ripped it off and started making junky places called “Chipotle,” which I don’t think is even a word. The once noble and honorable Freebird’s had no choice but to spread burrito love to all parts of the globe through an ever-increasing franchise.

Now, don’t get me wrong – Chipotle makes a good burrito. I like it. But IT is the rip off. Freebirds is the original, the burrito-mother, the holy foil-wrapped pouch of goodness. Chipotle is nothing but a good-looking imposter, who has managed to fool countless would-be fans of Tex-Mex delicacies. It’s kindof like Leonardo DeCaprio in “The Man in the Iron Mask.” Except with chicken, and refried beans.

So please, please, get your stories straight. And let us all enjoy the burritos of glory  under the banner of truth, justice, and queso (it costs a little extra).

Also – the phrase “spread burrito love”? Grossest thing I’ve ever said. Mark it.

Bonus Question: Who am I quoting in the first line of this post?